I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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