I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
There r osticjed everywhere
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
