What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize