I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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