I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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