So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
