Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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