So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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