i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?