Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?