I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize