I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
