what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
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I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
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When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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