yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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