Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
