she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i just google imaged poop.
I've blown a few things in my day
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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