This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
