Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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