Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
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I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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