I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
