This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
