im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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