I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
