; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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