last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
