When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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