So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
