I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
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Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
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For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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