Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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