Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
