Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
