Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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