My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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