Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
