S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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