its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I believe in your delicious
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
