if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
