similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
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Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
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I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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