He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
