I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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