So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm too high and old for this...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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