The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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