sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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