Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
