that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
