seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
