The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
