Your tits are I can't wait for
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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