planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
