With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
