Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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