just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
