Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
