My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
birth control should be required to get into college
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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