4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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