I met the friendliest cop last night
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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