I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
