I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
operation have a gay friend backfired
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
