It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
