phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
