Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Less talking, more tequila
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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