ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
