pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.