i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
